Here is a video of a guy who tells of his “experiences” raising the dead. You don’t need an “ultimate super-level of hyperfaith” to do it, either. Apparently, you just need to command the dead to sit or stand up – in the name of Jesus, of course – and they do. Sometimes they even steal your money and begin to run away.

If you catch them, be sure to give the delinquent zombies a good old Christian-style whippin’. Then convert them.