Dear Pope: God is dead, and we killed him

The pope, in his new book, apparently asserts that the Jews didn’t kill Jesus. So what? Who cares anymore? Are we really going to let the pope decide our opinion on such matters as, Are Jews intrinsically evil? That sounds pretty ridiculous today, but for centuries the pope’s opinion on such matters really mattered. Thankfully, his words are now grist for the mill of Twitter jokes. Here’s my attempt at an elegant controbattuta:

Raising the Dead: Absolute Bullshit

Here is a video of a guy who tells of his “experiences” raising the dead. You don’t need an “ultimate super-level of hyperfaith” to do it, either. Apparently, you just need to command the dead to sit or stand up – in the name of Jesus, of course – and they do. Sometimes they even steal your money and begin to run away.

If you catch them, be sure to give the delinquent zombies a good old Christian-style whippin’. Then convert them.