Whatever Works: a great atheist comedy

When I saw Whatever Works last year I loved it. The person I saw it with told me I reminded her a lot of Boris Yelnikoff, the lead character played by Larry David. I took it as a compliment. Plenty of people have told me I remind them of Woody Allen, which I also take as a compliment (though I know it isn’t always meant as one.)

My impression was that the movie kind of got slammed as one of Allen’s least-best, which is hardly criticism. I just watched it again. It’s actually a moving atheist comedy about Bible-Belt American Christians losing their old-time religion, following their passions and embracing a secular lifestyle in New York City.

There’s a great scene where Ed Begley, Jr., who plays the father, falls to his knees and begs Jesus for forgiveness for his sins. His daughter Melody, by now married to Yelnikoff – a misanthropic Jewish atheist – smiles sweetly and says, “Do you want to tell him or should I?”

“Tell me what?” her father responds.

“There’s nobody out there. Honest. You’re prayin’ to no one!”

Here’s the New Year’s scene at the end, which I’d wanted to post a few days ago, but what the hell. It’s a great movie, even if it’s not Annie Hall.

‘Buddhist’ is just a nicer way of saying ‘atheist’

My wife really dislikes Facebook; even so, she feels compelled to share at least some information about herself. Last night she was filling in a few new interests on her profile when she came to “religion.” “What should I write?” she asked. “‘I love Jesus? Liberal? Agnostic?'” “Why don’t you just tell the truth?” I said. “Write ‘atheist.'”

“That sounds too harsh,” she replied. “I’ll just put down ‘Buddhist’ instead.”

In a Perfect World #1

I’m taking the leap and expanding my blog empire to include cartoons. Here is the first installment of a really badly drawn cartoon I’ll call “In a Perfect World.” A nice, original title subject to change at any time. Feel free to share these cartoons on your blog or website: just please include a link back to this blog. Thanks.

 

 

Happy blasphemous New Year!

I just want to wish my readers a happy, blasphemous New Year. In the words of my friend Roberto Vacca, we’re going to stay home eating, drinking and blaspheming fictional deities.

Whatever works for you and yours!

Testing testing 123

This is not a blog post. This is not a blog post. I’m testing the post-by-email function on WordPress. Repeat: this is not a blog post. Don’t have a hissy fit.

*Fuck yeah, it works!

Jewish Christmas Explained

It’s a simple explanation for a complex phenomenon, after all.

Ninotchka (1998-2010)

She looked a lot like this.
Indifferently, her eyes will trace your hand
That stoops to smooth the graceful serpentine
Ceasing a moment only to define
The faithful boundaries of that strange land
That bred her silence: Egypt’s lazy sand,
The River of Sleep…shapes more or less divine,
Perpetuations of our world. Her spine
Rolls gently as you pause before the grand
Arch of her back, her taut tail like mast
That lengthens, it seems, endlessly. At last,
She settles, daringly, upon your knee
In effortless elegance. How many
Lives have suffered as painlessly as yours
To ponder beauty in its briefest hour?

Meet “Sam”

I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but this comment is so stoopid it’s irresistible. Blame P.Z. Myers.

“First off, there is no such thing as atheist (but is there such thing as “Sam?”), it is indeed plain simply (I think you mean “plain and simple”) arrogance and utter rudeness to the scientific community let alone the religious one (I never made any promises), their claim in itself is a positive one (which claim?), u (you) can( )not provide proof of his existence (whose existence?), whihc (ahhhh!) make u logically at best agnostic who lack(s) humility (who me?) to accepting lack of knowledge (of what again?).
in so far as the quran goes, seems like u were expecting mathematical notions, or some scientific formula “although there scientific stuff in there” (there be science!). are u mad (those be my initials, genius)?
t(T)he point is about, the highly likelihood of his being, rather than nothing coming out of nothing, and forget about the quantum fluctuation and string ripples (what’re you smokin’, dude?), the numbers dont add up (what numbers???). and there is already been proved that universe paradox, is a logical fallacy in itself. (pot, kettle)

In case anyone is wondering, this was posted as a comment to Another atheist reads the Qur’an. I don’t mean to make fun of “Sam”, but he could’ve put a bit more thought and effort into making himself comprehensible to someone so hard-hearted he offends both the scientific and religious communities in the same breath (in your dreams, pal!)

I should’ve taken that job as a proofreader.

Another end of the year reading list for 2010

The Jive Five

I read many books this year, nearly all of them processed from dead trees. Will they ever figure out a way to make a decent reading surface that doesn’t involve raping the environment? Probably not in my lifetime.

Here are five books I read in 2010, arbitrarily chosen over breakfast for this list.

1. The Qur’an by Muhammad | This is the story of one man’s struggle with dyspepsia. Not much of a plot, but I did learn that I am pretty much unrivalled as the scum of the earth. In fact, the phrase comes from here.

2. The Finkler Question by Howard Jacobson | I don’t usually read Man Booker Prize winners, assuming they are the UK equivalent of Oprah’s Book Club, but this was a romantic comedy about anti-Semitism, so how could I go wrong? (PG-13)

3. Voodoo Histories by David Aaronovitch | Did you ever wonder whether the Holocaust really happened? If Jews actually rule the world from a central office in an octopus’s brain bigger than planet Earth? Whether the “moon landing” was staged in a Hollywood bungalow? Then this is the book for you.

4. Hitler’s Pope by John Cornwell | Another love story woven around a twisted plot. Pope Pius XII goes ga-ga for Germany; gets hitched; they squabble over minor doctrinal points; the Jews are murdered wholesale in Europe. Nonetheless, their relationship is solid as a rock. Hey, isn’t that phrase from the Old Testament? Cool!

5. Why Truth Matters by Ophelia Benson and Jeremy Stangroom | Yes. No. Maybe? Truth is a pain in the ass, y’all. My review is here.

 

More Bibles, please!

Hooray! The Regione di Veneto is passing out Bibles to all the students! Here’s why:

“We’re convinced that the shift towards secularism, often rooted in the precepts of relativism and nihilism, cannot be an effective response to a world in continual evolution…”

What was that about “continual evolution?” According to the Regione di Veneto website,

“The secular laws of our nation are written in the Bible, and it contains the religious norms of our spiritual life. To clarify, our proposal of obligatory Christian education does not infringe upon the Concordat.”

The Concordat means the Lateran Treaty, the agreement with the Catholic Church that public schools will be draped with crucifixes and students will receive (optional – meaning you can sit in the hallway for an hour if you choose) Catholic religious education. In a sense, this is even worse: it’s obligatory, as the website makes clear. What about all those students from non-religious families? They are to be taught that even secularism is Christian, Christian is Catholic and there is to be no escape from Jesus, ever.

Italy is in the throes of a full-fledged War Against Secularism. Everyone from Joseph Ratzinger to the law-makers in Parliament to the regional and local levels of government are caught up in a crusade against the very principles of secularism. Which is ironic, because the Italian Constitution defines laicity, or secularism, as a “supreme principle of the State.”

I hope the students actually read their Bibles instead of trashing them, though. There would be no better way to make ardent secularists out of them.